"The devil won't get me"

The best woman I knew passed on to another life Monday night. She was battling as what you could call it the "devil" she was diagnosed with cancer a little over a year ago. It hurts so much, & I know I have never cried so much..
Monday morning my mother had called me telling me that she had fallen and was put in the hospital, throughout the day I kept calling and checking up on her, then thinking she was fine I was about to go to bed, then I got "the call" My mother left me a voicemail saying "Ash, it's your mamaw...you need to get here fast" I felt so many emotions I didn't know how or what to feel or more the less what to even think. Marc instantly said LETS GO. & it being 10 o'clock at night and him being up since 5 that morning, he didn't think twice about it and we went. I cried the whole way, as I was praying I just kept telling myself, she's to strong for anything to happen now..something this small couldn't be that bad? So mom calls me back, she tells me the pastor of the church came and prayed for her and her levels were slowly coming back up..I finally felt a sigh of relief come across me..I was in Louisa when she had called and told me that, so I didn't hear from here until I got in ashland which was about 12:00, she called me and said that her breathing was slowing down and she was suffering trying to breathe, I just prayed "please God keep her safe, don't let her die on, I just want to kiss her and tell her how much I love her" crying again, I was going almost 70 the whole way there, it came around to 12:20 finally we were almost there, then 12:30, we were in the parking lot, and rushing in I tried to hold my self up preparing for the worst, I walked in and the first person I seen was my papaw..he said "ash, shes gone..." I said "no, no shes not" i ran to the room she was in, and she had just took her last breathe, I sobbed, I held on to my mom I just felt like my legs were going to give out, I broke..I couldn't stand seeing the woman that I was with 24-7 all the time, die right infront of my eyes..it didn't seem real and to be honest It still doesn't. I held her hand as long as could, I didn't want to let go..
Eventually it was time to leave, It was so hard to just "leave" her there..it didn't feel right..so my mom amanda and I went back in her room and sat with her for a little while longer. She was becoming so cold, and if you knew my mamaw, she HATED being cold, I just wanted to tell the Doctors to "GET HER MORE BLANKETS AND TURN THE HEAT UP, NOW!!!!"
I just covered her up, and it was time to  go...

A few days later it was her viewing, she looked so beautiful, so peaceful, so sweet. I'd give anything to just tell her one more time how much I love her and how much I appreciate everything she has ever done for me in my life.
Next day was her funeral, it's not something you look forward to going to..but I was happy to get to see her one last time before they laid her to rest.
her funeral was at the church she went to, she had her heart and soul right with God. She praised and worshiped his name every single day, the last time I seen her she said "I just love praying"
The preacher got up and said a few things an talked about the good memories with her, then he said my mamaw looked at him one day and said "I'm bald, and my husband STILL loves me an thinks im beautiful, and he is SO HANDSOME!!!!"
I finally seen a smile instead of a tear from him.
Then he said "she looked at me an said cancer is the devil, but im not going to let to devil get me"
everyone just smiled then the pastor said "and she was right, she's with God, the devil didn't get her"
I don't know what it was about the statement, but it really brought me to alot of piece, she's not hurting where shes at, shes not in anymore pain, shes happy, shes with God, what more of a home could ANYONE ever ask for?? She's happy..therefore I'm happy, I'm happy for her..that cancer made her in so much pain, she's not in any pain anymore and I thank God, he healed her from cancer for the rest of her life.


If you have anyone close to you, wether they are sick or not sick, stay close to them, hold them close to your heart, dont' waste your time here on earth with them arguing, because when they are gone, they are gone..It's sad that I had to go through this to look at life in a different view, but my mamaw made and impact on everyones life...and even though shes gone, she still is making an impact on us. She pulled us all as a family so much closer together. I wish you knew my mamaw...she was amazing.
I love you Mamaw, I will never forget you, rest in peace beautiful angel. Can't wait to see you again!