It's me..

We are in our new house and I feel like A NEW WOMAN! WE ALL LOVE IT. There’s no “adjusting” we are all so in love with the place. So much bigger and enough room but that doesn’t mean ol’ payton isn’t being a toddler!! When I get aggravated writing just calms me down…So here you go, Son<3 span="">

Dear Son,

Today, you woke me up in a bed soaked worse than a swimming pool. On the fresh new sheets I put on the night before because earlier that day you peed in the bed during your nap. I’m trying this new thing like telling myself on my weakest mommy minutes that “It’ll be okay” “It can be fixed” but sometimes I can’t always be the perfect parent. I get mad, I get frustrated, and I yell & I hate that about myself. I’m only human though.

My best day was when I got you. I yell at you because I’m frustrated with myself. It’s not you.  Not my finest moments but I’m only human. I get mad when you roll out of bed at 8 am when you didn’t go to sleep until 1 am the night before. I mumble under my breath. I take a deep breath and a loud sigh that I know you feel my aggravation, but sweetheart it’s not you. It’s me. I get up and need at least 20 minutes to get woke up before I want to move off the couch but you are ready to go as soon as them brown eyes open and you say “mornin mommy” then I kiss you and tell you the same. But it wasn’t until this morning I seen the fear in your eyes when I said “did you pee in the bed?!” Your eyes filled up with tears, waiting for me to scream and ask you “WHY!?” How dare me right? How dare I ask you that question when I should be waking you up, teaching you how to not do them things, because that’s my job? It’s not you hunny, it’s me.

I tell you not to yell or make that annoying squeal that you do when you’re aggravated with me or your father. But I yell when I’m aggravated to. But I’m working on it, I promise. I cry when I get angry an wish and hope and pray for 5 minutes of silence. You laugh when you think something’s silly and sometimes and I don’t smile. Not because I don’t think it’s not funny or because I don’t love you but because today I don’t love myself.  I don’t yell at you, I yell at the world, I yell at every person that aggravates me that day. How dare I right? How dare I take it out on the little boy that loves me more than life? It’s not you hunny, it’s me.

Right now, you are currently taking your “blue bike” & running it into my Christmas tree trying your best to knock it over and I’m trying to ignore it. The little green pieces from the tree are slowly falling into the clean floor I just swept, but you are human to. You are a toddler who is going to make messes and I’m a mom who is always going to walk behind you and pick everything up. I’ll mess up an yell because of the pile of overloaded things I have to do but it’s not you hunny, it’s me.

As you go through life, you will see my weakest hour, weakest month., weakest moment. You will see me cry, you will see me fall. You will see me get aggravated at your dad. You will see my problems through my actions. You will see silence. You will see arguments. You will see doors slammed because I get hurt. But will you remember this one thing? It has never been because of you. It’s because of me. It’s because life isn’t easy. But I promise you I will shelter you from every fight that I can..

You will see me laugh. You will see me smile. You will see me act like a child. You will see me jump on the trampoline. You will see me try to ride your bike. You will see me chase you through the house, and play hide and seek. You will see me give into the that cute smile when you want a toy from “malmart” You will see how many times you get your way by saying “pitty please” you will see me hug your father and see how much we love each other. You will see us stay strong through the bad times. You will see us succeed as a family and that my son that’s one thing that’s all because of YOU.

With love,

 your mommy.

Life UPDATE

It's been awhile, I am completely aware of that. Regardless if anyone reads these. I know Payton will, so he needs to know how much cuter he gets every day!
with that being said; my little man is almost 2. Actually today, he is officially 23 months! Where has the time gone? They are all memories now, but every memory is captured with a picture, or simply captured in my heart. Memories that I can't and won't forget. These past 2 years I've gained a life long bestfriend. When no one is there, he always is. You may think "It's crazy" but I just call it fate. God gave me his daddy, so his daddy could give me him. For that, I am forever thankful.

I want to share with you some hard to forget moments. From the funny ones, sad ones, to some of hardest. The mommy life is a different scene from the teenager life, regardless my age. I had a stamp across my forehead that read "MOMMY" plus, you KNOW you're a mommy when you start couponing like it's your favorite hobby. Yes people, I said favorite. I mean come on, tell me what is better than getting toilet paper, dis liquid, detergent, shampoo, paper towels for cheap? Umm nothing! That's just more decorating money.
Ok ok, enough about my new obsession time for payton moments!

Funny-
 As you all must know, these toddlers are hilarious. Never a dull moment, never a boring day. The other day we was in store, of course it would be a quite quite store where even the smallest of things can be heard, even Payton's manly farts. Yes, how embarrassing right? The funny thing though, I thought I got pretty darn lucky because he would make silent ones and luckily every time no one was around. As soon as I thought to myself. "whew, thank goodness" a whole crowd of people came right next to us. I tried getting out of there as soon as I could but just about the time I turned around he let a man fart out. I almost cried, after laughing so hard I about peed my pants. I didn't want them to think it was me, so me being the big idiot I am. I said "Payton! you can't do that in public!" Like he was going to know what I meant right? Well he did, he said "momma fart" I said "Noooo, payton farted" the people heard the whole conversation and giggled under their breath. I was embarrassed I had to get out of there! lol

Mad-
These moments have made me who I am, so after each tantrum and once they are over. I learn how much patience I gain after each and every one and I smile.
His tantrums he throws though, you would literally think he was dying. Not even joking. I am amazed at the kicks, punches and screams this child has in him. BUT, one thing about payton is when he's around people he is sooooo mean I can't even handle him. I'm like "who are you?? what did you do with payton??" then when it's just me and him, he's an angel. Weird thing is though, my mamaw always said the same thing about me. She always loved taking me places with her alone because I was a terror when other people was with us. Guess that's where he gets it from, his momma. One thing he got at least. ;)

Sad-
I have way to many of these. If you're a mother though you'll come to find out that these moments happen quite often. One of the saddest moments I will ever have to deal with is when his daddy leaves to go on storm trouble. Today, as a matter of fact. Daddy didn't come in that door at 7 oclock and Payton was devastated. He kept asking me where he was, he would put his boots on walk around yelling for him. Bring me his sock, tell me that it's daddy's and continue to put it on his foot. It's heartbreaking seeing how close them two are. If he see's a white truck and he automatically thinks it's HIS daddys truck. I am soooooo very thankful that my son has a father like he does. So involved in his life, so in love with him but yet so in love with me (his mommy) as well. It feels so good having my family together. I know one day Payton's going to look back on this and realize what kind of father he has.


The best thing is I can look at my life and really be happy with it. I love my family!!
I feel completely insane sometimes because if there is even the slightest bit of bonding between Payton and Marc, I instantly tear up and go picture happy. Mainly because I don't have that bonding with my dad and because that's the only person I was always wanting to bond with. I have no communication whatsoever with my dad. Our relationship these past 4 years have been off and on, talking and not talking. It hurt and cuts deeper everyday. But I have finally accepted it! It feels good to accept the person he is, so that I have time in my heart to be the person I need to be. I love him unconditionally, but I have my family to focus on.

Slacking mommy

It's been 2 months since my last blog post...I have no idea why I haven't had the time. I guess it's probably because my child has hit the "terrible two" stage, just a little bit early.
He's a wild man! & here lately I haven't had that much help, because once again, Marc is out of town working in Maryland! 6 hours away. Just before he left for Maryland, he was in Charleston WV for 2 weeks, came home for 2 days then left again. We haven't got to spend much time with him at all. But we get by with facetime every night!
Lets see...

JUNE:
On the 1st I turned 20! Crazy crazy to think. & payton turned 19 months. In a few more months the little butt will be 2. It's so weird to think, I know it's so cliche for people to say "i feel like I had him yesterday" but seriously...lol I DO!! Nothing big happened in June, attempted the potty training, he peed in the potty once, then demanded i put a diaper back on him. lol So I figured I'd get it a rest until next month. As always, he's all about himself. He HAS to have his hat, & shoes before he leaves the house...oh and look in the mirror touching his belly and making sure he looks "hot" if anyone knows marc..hes the EXACT same way. lol I dread the teenage years. He tells me "No" constantly. But he is a neat freak, if he spills anything he gets a paper towel cleans it up, then throws it in the trash..he got that from his father also. I'm still waiting for the side of him that reminds me of myself, nothing yet lol just his hair!

JULY:
his little cousin Ka had a birthday party and they had so much fun! She turned 3!
Payton experienced his first "owie" scrapped up knees at papaws house. Even though he freaked, not knowing why his skin looked that way, I still thought it was cute in a way, after the pain went away of course. He has an obsession with mud puddles. We take walks down our street, with the way it's been raining there are of course mud puddles everywhereeeeeee. Payton sits in them splashes, then moves on to the next one. Some parents freak at a drop of mud on a kid, but I say if he wants to be a boy, let him. As for now, that's all that's really went on. Enjoy the pics of my growing little man!


THESE ARE ALL FROM 4TH OF JULY ;)

He was so amazed :)

After coming home, wild man

finger painting :)

thank hand print he left on my porch lol

Stages of a young boy...

As he begins to get older with every day, I thank God I'm able to witness the most beautiful little boy in the world, grow up..take steps to becoming and forming into the young man that's planned for him.
He's going to go through obstacles, some he may be able to overcome and some he might not be so fortunate. I just pray that i'm that mother he thanks God for giving him. I pray with every step, I guide him in the right direction that he needs to go. Teach him things that I was taught. Pray for him when he's weak. & pick him up when he's not strong enough.

Payton,
I know as you get older you'll go through stages. Right now, your in the stage where your mommy (me) is your best friend & your daddy is your hero. I pray that you keep this mind set your whole life, but I know that you will take your days where your mommy is "stupid" and your daddy is "mean" just know that everything we do. We do it for you. We devote our life to you..before we knew you, we didn't know anything. Our prayers were fulfilled when we heard your heartbeat for the very first time.
The next stage I'm sure will be the   7, 8, 9, 10 stage...the "young boy" stage. Where your always right, you want a toy every time we go to a store, ice cream is like gold, and outside is your best friend. I'm not sure what your interests will be, but I can't wait to find out. You love hats and anything with 2 wheels...so I think I may have a good idea what you will be doing ;)
The next stage will be your "pre" teen stage..that's where girls come in..but they have cuties, remember? You'll be mean to them, but don't worry...you'll only do that because you "like them. :)
Next is the dreadful stage...well for ME and DADDY.
TEENAGER....
peer pressure, drugs, girls, party's, cars...
this is the stage where your going to find out who you are, with each teenager year, you'll find out more and more of who you are and what you want to become.
I'll teach you to stay away from drugs, so we won't worry about that :)
I'll teach you how to say no and be strong enough to stick to your word, so don't worry about that either.
I'll let you go to party's that are chaperoned until your old enough to attend them alone, you know...after you move out and all, but that will be after your 20's at least....right? I hope...well that's unless you fall in love with a girl an that was the next part..my nightmare, a young girl stealing the kisses I got every night, and the hugs, everything. All that love that you gave me...well your going to invest that in some young girl. I know it, because I invested that love in your daddy.
Just do me a favor and treat her right. Take her out, show her what a girl needs to see, treat her like shes a princess. I don't know why I'm telling you all of this because I know that your the sweestest little boy in the world. & I just don't see that changing..

Love always, your mommy!

As summer begins and the leaves begin to change, so does our lives. One day is nothing but aggravating and stress and some days are perfect. It happens, but we make the best of what we can and what we have. I know I should get on and blog alot more, but with taking care of Payton and trying to finish my classes in time. I can't ever seem to find time. I want Payton to be able to look back at this blog and know how much his daddy and I adore him. Well, I guess you could say we are obsesses with him. I want another child later on, but as Marc says he just wants be able to spoil Payton & only Payton, so I think for now I'd enjoy spoiling him also. :)

He does new things everyday, as like any other child. He even does things I tell him not to, crazy huh? lol Now I know why my mom and dad was so protected over us girls. I just think about him growing up and wanting to leave the house every chance he gets and worrying about him driving, or slapping the first girl he brings home, just cause my "momma instincts" are already telling me that no ones good enough for him but me. I will be the ONLY girl he loves :) haha yeahhh right..

Anyways, I need to get some rest, so I'll show you a few pics that we got done last week :) enjoy!

"The devil won't get me"

The best woman I knew passed on to another life Monday night. She was battling as what you could call it the "devil" she was diagnosed with cancer a little over a year ago. It hurts so much, & I know I have never cried so much..
Monday morning my mother had called me telling me that she had fallen and was put in the hospital, throughout the day I kept calling and checking up on her, then thinking she was fine I was about to go to bed, then I got "the call" My mother left me a voicemail saying "Ash, it's your mamaw...you need to get here fast" I felt so many emotions I didn't know how or what to feel or more the less what to even think. Marc instantly said LETS GO. & it being 10 o'clock at night and him being up since 5 that morning, he didn't think twice about it and we went. I cried the whole way, as I was praying I just kept telling myself, she's to strong for anything to happen now..something this small couldn't be that bad? So mom calls me back, she tells me the pastor of the church came and prayed for her and her levels were slowly coming back up..I finally felt a sigh of relief come across me..I was in Louisa when she had called and told me that, so I didn't hear from here until I got in ashland which was about 12:00, she called me and said that her breathing was slowing down and she was suffering trying to breathe, I just prayed "please God keep her safe, don't let her die on, I just want to kiss her and tell her how much I love her" crying again, I was going almost 70 the whole way there, it came around to 12:20 finally we were almost there, then 12:30, we were in the parking lot, and rushing in I tried to hold my self up preparing for the worst, I walked in and the first person I seen was my papaw..he said "ash, shes gone..." I said "no, no shes not" i ran to the room she was in, and she had just took her last breathe, I sobbed, I held on to my mom I just felt like my legs were going to give out, I broke..I couldn't stand seeing the woman that I was with 24-7 all the time, die right infront of my eyes..it didn't seem real and to be honest It still doesn't. I held her hand as long as could, I didn't want to let go..
Eventually it was time to leave, It was so hard to just "leave" her there..it didn't feel right..so my mom amanda and I went back in her room and sat with her for a little while longer. She was becoming so cold, and if you knew my mamaw, she HATED being cold, I just wanted to tell the Doctors to "GET HER MORE BLANKETS AND TURN THE HEAT UP, NOW!!!!"
I just covered her up, and it was time to  go...

A few days later it was her viewing, she looked so beautiful, so peaceful, so sweet. I'd give anything to just tell her one more time how much I love her and how much I appreciate everything she has ever done for me in my life.
Next day was her funeral, it's not something you look forward to going to..but I was happy to get to see her one last time before they laid her to rest.
her funeral was at the church she went to, she had her heart and soul right with God. She praised and worshiped his name every single day, the last time I seen her she said "I just love praying"
The preacher got up and said a few things an talked about the good memories with her, then he said my mamaw looked at him one day and said "I'm bald, and my husband STILL loves me an thinks im beautiful, and he is SO HANDSOME!!!!"
I finally seen a smile instead of a tear from him.
Then he said "she looked at me an said cancer is the devil, but im not going to let to devil get me"
everyone just smiled then the pastor said "and she was right, she's with God, the devil didn't get her"
I don't know what it was about the statement, but it really brought me to alot of piece, she's not hurting where shes at, shes not in anymore pain, shes happy, shes with God, what more of a home could ANYONE ever ask for?? She's happy..therefore I'm happy, I'm happy for her..that cancer made her in so much pain, she's not in any pain anymore and I thank God, he healed her from cancer for the rest of her life.


If you have anyone close to you, wether they are sick or not sick, stay close to them, hold them close to your heart, dont' waste your time here on earth with them arguing, because when they are gone, they are gone..It's sad that I had to go through this to look at life in a different view, but my mamaw made and impact on everyones life...and even though shes gone, she still is making an impact on us. She pulled us all as a family so much closer together. I wish you knew my mamaw...she was amazing.
I love you Mamaw, I will never forget you, rest in peace beautiful angel. Can't wait to see you again!

Perfect Weather!

So, yesterday I figured Payton was getting a little bored sitting at home with mommy all the time, & going everywhere that I had/wanted to go...& I figured I would take him to the park to have a day of his own, doing what he wants. Lord knows he deserves it and so much more as much as he puts up with me dragging him out everywhere!
I took him to the park once before when he was about 7 months, but he didn't really seem to grasp the idea of it, and didn't have that good of a time. But let me tell you...he had a BLAST this time. The swings was his favorite part of it all, FOR SURE. Although, I'm pretty sure it made him kinda sleepy, or wore him out one or the other. Al that matters is that he had a blast & Im so glad he did.
Tomorrow he will be 16 months! WOW...
Not to mention how smart the little one is his new things he does now are:
-running to daddy when mommy says "lets go night night"
-takes the cleaning stuff an helps mommy clean
-loves "trying" to fold laundy (anything to help his momma)
-riding his 4-wheeler
-dancing, shaking his butt, an bobbin his head to any song, (even the slow ones) LOL
-turning off the tv with daddy tells him no
-if we tell him no, then he comes back with a bigger no (that i suppose im suppose to listen to??)
-if i smack his butt then of course he thinks its funny an smacks mine LOL (so hard to discipline him)
-grabbing my phone an running!
-every dog he see's he says "hi jesse" (that's his papaws dogs name) lol but to him its all the dogs name
-when i tell him it's time for daddy to come home, he will sit in the loveseat an look out the window yelling for him until he sees him SOOOO CUTE.

there's so much more I could tell you, but I have to attend to the little one and put him down for a nap. I hope you enjoy these pictures of our day at the park!

Mommys!! Help!!!

I guess it is very safe to say that my child is over powering me these days, I say no..he does it anyways, or he bites me, or hits me, as much as it makes me want to laugh because someone so little can be so MEAN. I can't actually always laugh, I tried ignoring him, tapping his hand when he hits me, then he takes it as a game and keeps hitting back and forth, so therefore that failed. I tried putting him in timeout (up in his bed) for 15 minutes and he screams the whole time. If he doesn't get what he wants, when he wants, he won't settle for anything. If I try giving him want he wants (after he is already screaming mad) he throws it. Then I accidently laugh :/ and he goes around the house throwing EVERYTHING that gets in his way..lol  He has recently started walking, well let me rephrase that "running" & has found out he gets places faster than crawling, so yes it's tiring! I get excited for 9:00 bedtime pretty much every night... lol
Okay ladies, that's it..I have tried everything there is to try out there, I don't know what I am doing wrong? I don't want to do something wrong and he will always over ride my authority, even Marc can't control him. He will (sometimes) listen to him when he says no, but very rarely...at times Marc is like "Ashley, GET HIM. I don't know what's wrong with him" LOL then i return with, and I do?? I know I am the adult and he is the child, but most of the time I feel like it's the other way around...So any advice in what to do would be greatly appreciated..do I let it go? Do I discipline him in a different way? He knows what the word NO means, but he doesn't care...hmm wonder where he gets that from?

God, I need a blessing..

Pentecostal, that was my relgion, I was proud of it...& I still am. I may not live by all the rules, I know for a fact I stumble on things I should give to God. I try to fix anything and everything that I think has potential. Like my life for instance...I sometimes wonder what my life would be like if I went to church faithfully and gave everything in my life, to God. I know he's there even though I don't live the life I should, but if I did...I don't think the devil would intfer as much as he does now. I've never been one to open my feelings to the world, I can't even open up to myself. I shut down when I'm asked about relgion, or God, or church.
I was raised wearing the long skirts, long hair, no makeup because we were beautiful how we appeared. No tv because it took away from family value, no cursing, no negative music, and speaking in tongues. I've witnessed alot of things in my life. & some things I have never been through, because I raised around drugs, fighting, no money, hard times, and I don't regret it not the first time. We struggled with money, & that's what gave me my drive to finish highschool & go to college and conquered a dream in having a career. Sure, I had a baby young & I know I was raised not to do that..but I think God has his plans for me before I even realized what I had planned for myself...I was raised around drugs, not mentioning any names but I have the most hatred for drugs, I know it's not right to hate anyone or have hatred in your heart, but if you have been through what I have been through growing up, you would probably feel the same. Hard times made me stronger..We moved from state to state, house to house and school to school. NEVER, could my sisters and I have a stable life and grow up in one place. That's what makes me want to make sure my children grow up in a place they can call home. We live in Myrtle Beach, Ohio, Georgia, South Carolina, where my little sister was born, Ansley Grace Mullins...whom I had prayed for everynight, asking God to give me a little sister! (See he always answers prayers, even when you think he's not listening)
The other day a little old lady & a old man, stopped me in the grocery store. I have never seen them before in my 7 years of living in Prestonsburg, KY. I had already had a stressful day and I felt like giving up and breaking. I cried and just asked God to give me a blessing. The old lady put her hand on my shoulder and said "I felt like God wanted me to tell you that, that little boy is a blessing to you and his daddy" I wanted to cry, but I was speechless..and said "Yeah..I do believe he is"
Right there, I knew was God answering my prayers about needing a blessing..He had already gave it to me & the trouble of life and stress of being a mom got the best of my emotions & then right there..I knew God was still watching over me, and was leading me this whole time...
He still is, I don't care who you are or what choices you make in your life, God is just a prayer away and I haven't spent much time with him in awhile..Praying...It's the answer to all your problems..

Sitting up, crawling, WALKING!

He's that shining start, that brightens my life, he's the one thing the only thing that can make my heart melt in minutues, he makes my demons disspear, my past feel like it's not even there, my life began when I met him..I never knew I could be so in love with a slobbery kiss, a dirty face, a little angel...Payton<3
I love my roll as a mother, and I never thought in my entire life, I would spend my teenage years rasing a child, I always thought it would take awhile for me to really grow up, truth is..if it wasn't for him I don't beileve I would have became the woman he shaped me to be. I had a wonderful mom..and to be honest I never wanted to become a mom because I was scared I wouldn't do as good as what my mother did rasing my sisters and I, but I think I get it from her. I now know what she meant when she told me "you'll never know my love for you all, until you have kids on your own"
My baby reached the milestone that really affected me in an emotional way, call me crazy...but he began walking tonight, and I felt a little piece inside of me, break. I know it's an exciting time for most, and all anyone can think about is "your in for it now!" but that's my baby...that's a moment I'll never get to experiecne with him again. I can't thank God enough for putting me here, right where I am today.

Payton-
You are mommys baby, you always will be. I hope that one day you see how close to my heart that you are.
I hope you grow and mold into the young man, I know that you can be. I promise I will always be there to pick you up when you fall. I'll get mad at you, I'll stalk you, I'll fight for you, I'll argue with you..but I want you to always remember that It's only because I love you. There's demons in this world that will try to get you down. But always remember...Mommy's here <3 I'll NEVER leave you.

Below are some pictures of my bestfriend...

Update!

Hello bloggers!
I've been a complete and total slacker when it comes to blogging, but that doesn't mean nothing interesting has went on, because there has been ;) with a 14 month old, every day there's something new!
I start back school Jan 9th, and It's a painful thought. I looked a potential daycare the other day, but I still can't wrap my brain around him being in a "daycare" I've been job searching and hoping I find out something within the next few days, a little extra cash never hurt anyone.
I recently found out what kind of father & daughter relationship my "father" and I really had....safe to say I guess we never really had one. We had words & of course it would hurt anyone's feelings to have their father tell them to never contact them again..but I know in my heart, I wasn't wrong and he won't stop me from becoming the person I need to be. I've been out from under his roof for about 3 years now and I think I've done quite well, with the help of my wonderful significant other ;)


As for my little angel, he's stealing hearts and taking names as each day goes by. We had christmas, and did I mention DADDY WAS HOME?? :D & yes it's for good!
he got clothes, toys and more clothes and toys..after having a birthday where he got MANY toys...My house was a DIASTER...and finally, my living room has a few select toys, and the rest is in his room!!
As for pictures, I hope you enjoy them!

Our little Santa!

My baby ;)

They are the cutest, and so in love!

Out to eat with mommy and daddy!

LOL I had to share this with you all, I never knew how CHUNKY he actually was!!!!!

All the fat faded though ;) but he's super handsome!

I'm sad can't ya tell?

I know I can't say I'm extremely happy with my life at the moment, because I'm not..my best friend/soul mate is 5 hours away from home from his family, and it's been almost a month since Payton and I've seen him. Payton started walking today. As happy as I am to be able to see that and experience his first steps, I still am followed by being depressed because his father couldn't see it. I've learned to not take anything for granted..and when he gets to come home I definitely won't take for granted being able to see him every night. My life has been in a downwards position and the loneliness and depression is driving me insane.. and as much as Payton lifts my spirits in so many ways, I still have no one to "talk" to about it.I've always been the type of person that never let my feelings or emotions show, I've always kept everything inside and to myself, telling myself "it's okay" knowing deep down its not and I'm not. I know life comes with its struggles and I know God would never give me anything I couldn't handle, but this comes close to being anything hard to handle..and what makes it even harder, is the way payton carry's his picture around kissing it, or when the phone rings he automatically puts his hand over his ear an says "hi dada" ...I don't know how I'll make it until the first of the year! I guess I'm just trying to get it out there not to take anything or anyone for granted, Marc holds the most special place and love in my heart and I worry sick about him each and every day. He's doing a dangerous job. And all I ask is that everyone keep him in your prayers. The holidays are coming up and Payton and I need him home!

More pictures of his big day and some more!

I've been having a numerous amount of internet connection problems that I wasn't able to get all the pictures on here so that you all could enjoy them, so here are a few!

                                           He got to open 1, one day early.

                                            cousin kaleigh and payton

                                           messy messy face!!

                                              he loved his tractor mommy and daddy got him.

                                         giving mommy messy cake kisses! ;)

                                                     LOL daddys hard hat